When I first envisioned my brand, I planned on sharing my story about surviving the various forms of abuse, navigating through it all, and ultimately overcoming them. I never imagined I would add another layer: recovery from almost losing my life at the age of 26. You may be wondering how that happened to someone so young, filled with life, and hardworking. I always had a theory that everything we endure doesn’t truly go away, but remains within until we are truly able to process and release those experiences. I used to get called crazy and, let’s face it, worse names than that, but I refused to give up on my theory. I have other theories that I have been working to prove. For now, I am living proof because I chose to embody my theories and let my results speak for themselves. I share my stories because it’s cathartic, and the possibility of someone who is currently experiencing similar realities and looking for hope may stumble upon my page. This is for you.
What Happened?
It was June 2021, a few months after leaving my job at a nursing home and committing to building my brand while still working part-time. I wanted to decrease my workload to prepare for returning to school that Fall semester. However, a few days after a cousin’s wedding celebration, disaster struck. I had a series of asthma attacks that my rescue inhaler couldn’t do anything to soothe. Slowly, I was losing my ability to breathe, and not long after…talk. I was exhausted and only wanted to sleep, but my sister and father took action and made sure I wasn’t alone. He ended up taking me to the ER, since it had been an hour and I wasn’t improving, where they had me wait. My vitals were relatively normal, so they assumed I was stable, but once inside, the doctor had a different opinion. My father went in with me since he refused to leave my side, and the doctor listened to my lungs and tried to remain composed. He asked, “How are you breathing?” “Very shallow breaths,” I said with a smile. He ordered an immediate breathing treatment and said he would speak to me when there are signs of the treatment working. He checked in throughout to ensure the medicine was reaching my lungs, and when he was satisfied, he told me everything. He said, “Another 30 minutes and you wouldn’t be here.” Ironically, they made me wait about 30 minutes before escorting me to a room in the ER. Once the treatment was over, I was given paperwork and advised to make an urgent appointment with my PCP to update my asthma medication. I never could have imagined the chaos I was going to endure. The same chaos that has lasted four and a half years so far…and counting.
Timeline
- July 2021: Met with my PCP, told him everything that happened, offered the ER paperwork, but he refused to even grab them, laughed in my face, and said, “You don’t have an issue. It’s because you’re fat. Lose the weight, and you’ll be fine.” I attempted to be taken seriously in urgent care, tried to change my PCP, and ultimately met with no resolutions, but then everything took a turn for the worse.
- August-September 2021: I lost my mobility, was barely able to talk, couldn’t lie flat on the bed without choking, and was in an immense amount of pain. I had gotten a pulse oximeter to monitor oxygen levels and heart rate, but the levels were dropping, and my heart rate at rest was 174. I had no one to help and had to wait until it was safe enough for me to drive. I couldn’t get my job to accommodate my declining health, and I was forced to leave. When it was safe to do so, I went to the ER for breathing treatments, and they did their due diligence to check my heart. Due to the extensive wait times, it was hard to get any conclusive information, and I have been taught grounding techniques in therapy over the years, so I do well with staying calm. There is only so much they can do, but they did their best and encouraged me to have my PCP refer me to Pulmonary and Cardiology. I asked them to add that in their notes because he didn’t listen, and I couldn’t get any other doctor to help me. I suspected they labeled me as a problem patient and blamed mental health, which turned out to be accurate. (I learned later on.)
- October 2021: I felt like I had no support system or community that understood what I was dealing with. I turned to TikTok to express myself as I could and searched for the community I yearned for. When I realized I wasn’t able to find one, I decided to build one.
- The specifics for the rest are infuriating, but I will share a summary.
- 2022: I finally was taken seriously after I reported discrimination and neglect. I received the referrals, the worst was already over, yet my mobility and breathing was unstable. Some answers were received, but not enough was being done. For example, all my labs were showing increasing platelets and signs of my body fighting something, but no further action was taken. Inflammation was clear with the levels, but nothing was being done about it.
- 2023: I was running out of options and couldn’t take any longer fighting a broken system, trying to recover, all while being denied from jobs. I’m a liability, and there was nothing flexible enough for my circumstances. Each lawyer I spoke to told me I had a case, but their firm wasn’t going to take it. I had to choose to fight or figure out alternatives. I was earning some income from livestreams and some monetization opportunities, but those were not sufficient nor reliable. Unfortunately, I slowly had to cash out investments, my 401K, and my retirement. I used those as a last resort when I couldn’t earn enough and refused to stress out over matters when I had my own hard earned money stored away. What is the use of my earnings if I can’t use it when in need? I was denied temporary disability and unemployment, so I did what I had to do. I started babysitting for relatives to not just help out, but also get paid in a way that won’t be too hard on me. Bonus: I got to dote on little ones as a loving aunt.
- 2024: I was showing some improvement with treatments and ongoing tests/procedures. Learned my pain stemmed from my lower back L3-L5 and require facet injections every few months, other pain was caused by ovarian cysts, as well as gastrointestinal issues, where I was choking on stomach acid in my sleep and having significant issues with eating. I was afraid of eating disorders returning and I kept being adament about getting the issues resolved. I was given what I like to call, “STFU meds” and I was worried about developing further issues. Putting a bandaid on a wound that needs stitches is bound to have consequences.
- 2025: My Pulmonary team and Pain Management team were awesome and helped me thoroughly. I was relieved to see improvement, but not enough for me to return to work, even part-time. My PCP agreed to refer me to GI, but after waiting months I found out he never did. I called and they fought me on it, making me make another appointment to receive the referral. I decided to try another approach since the truth was getting me nowhere. I lied and said, “My husband and I would like to try for a baby, but I can’t do that until these issues are resolved. Can you help me?” I HAD THE REFERRAL AND AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ATTITUDE TOWARDS ME!!! Why on earth did that work?! While dealing with all of this, I was being a miracle worker for my family. We lost my childhood home, my family was homeless, I moved to be with them, and worked hard to save everyone…the exact opposite of how I was treated, but that’s the key difference. I fulfilled my duties and saved my family. It was the move that showed me that I may have been dealing with mold exposure as well as learning I was allergic, not just to mold, but a varity of trees, grass, and basically much of the outside. It took months to recover from the stress of everything and quit most of the meds that were unnecessary based on the test results and diagnoses I received by the specialists.
- 2026: I officially have been noticing more progress. I lost 14lbs naturally, the brain fog is no longer as prominent, and I’m able to articulate cohesive thoughts again! I recently saw a new PCP and have approvals for specialists within 24 hours. I was able to have an appointment with GI before my insurance transferred and thankfully no serious issues with my stomach, but she suspects gastroparesis. I was praying so hard that my new doctors would believe me the first time and I would have a better experience and thankfully that’s what happened! My hard work has been recognized and I expressed how much I am trying to return to normal or as close to normal as possible. Some conditions are looking to be permanent, which unfortunately would mean I cannot return to the normal workforce. I also cannot receive any benefits and honestly, am exhausted with fighting a broken system to get what I deserve. I would rather work hard and earn my dues.
What Comes Next?
As you can see on my home page, there is a link to my podcast. It’s time to return to creating more episodes and honestly, I have a list of over 140 topics to cover. Did you think I was idle while stuck in bed? NOPE! I created episode lists in the order that matches my story as well as incorporating what I wish I would have known. I also wrote out messages I had for others, research topics, and most importantly, conversations I want to have here on my site. I already created wellness programs to help clients and have been helping them! I have a few success stories, but chose not to scale until my health permits. I have a private community where people have been safe to express themselves and truly have the emotional support they were looking for. I am mentoring people while earning donations to not only keep my brand running, but to save up so I can continue my education and give back to communities in ways I have always desired.
Lessons Learned:
What I didn’t mention in the timeline were the other industries I worked in. I became a brand partner in Savvi and enjoyed all that came with it. I became licensed in finance and insurance to help people, while pursuing a real estate license. I was invited into rooms I never thought was possible for someone in my position and I was able to ask influential people so many questions and learn a variety of aspects of business and networking. Each person I connected with told me the same thing. If I continue as I am and keep showing up, I will no doubt reach points in life where I will be a positive influence to thousands! (They actually said more, but that freaks me out, so thousands it is!)
Unfortunately, people do treat you differently when you can no longer show up for them. If you’re lucky, you will have a support system throughout and your recovery can be smoother. It wasn’t the case for me and with the change in political climate, it definitely felt as if I was isolated. Primarily because I was, but also I realized I was never meant to fit in, I was meant to stand out and inspire others.