In the last month, I’ve been dealing with severe asthma. June 15th, I started feeling minor symptoms, which I was able to manage. However, the next day I started having attacks, and my rescue inhaler and my secondary inhaler were not helping. I worked on the breathing exercises, tried to remain calm, and even refrained from doing anything. The issue was, none of those things were helping. I felt my chest tightening and could only take shallow breaths, and each day talking became nearly impossible. It was Saturday, June 19, when I needed to go to the ER due to the inability to breathe.
My father took me in as a safety precaution, and then I needed to wait half an hour. It wasn’t busy there or anything, but that’s how it was. The doctor noticed I was struggling to talk, so he listened. He told me he could barely hear the air, so he immediately ordered oral steroids and a breathing treatment. The issue was, as someone barely able to breathe, they kept asking questions. I couldn’t breathe, but expected to talk so much? Okay then. I did my best, and after what felt like an hour, I was left alone to focus on the treatment. Dad was irritated with how I was being treated but focused solely on keeping me calm.
About three hours later, treatments are complete; I’m given a chamber for my inhaler that didn’t work in the first place and sent on my way. Although they were told the rescue inhaler didn’t help at all, I’m stuck with the same one and some oral steroids that have serious side effects. I still could barely breathe. I get the paperwork and notice that under the severity of asthma, he put not specified. How infuriating! A patient could barely breathe! Dad just took me out of there because it was no use. I’ve endured things like this since my childhood, but to know the system STILL hasn’t changed after 26 years is ridiculous.
With the treatments, I was in bed for almost 2 weeks without much improvement. Daily activities became hard as well. I was still visiting family in northern California, so I needed to recover to drive back to LA. I somehow managed, but upon returning, I was back to being immobilized. After a week, I was strong enough to drive again at last. I made an appointment to follow up with my doctor, which was a nightmare!
Not only was I interrogated about depression by people that don’t bother to understand mental health, but I felt like a joke with the doctor. He didn’t take my asthma seriously, didn’t care that I went to the ER, and when I raised concerns over side effects, laughed and said it’s because of my weight. Laughed. It took EVERYTHING I had to remain respectful, but I was livid. He recommended a vaccine for something related to pneumonia because of my asthma it was recommended. At this point, I stopped caring. I was focused on breathing to remain calm. After it was all over, they wouldn’t let me leave because of my depression. 3 people interrogated, and I remained respectful with great difficulty, but I knew better. I heard the doctor say they can let me go since I have therapy every week. If I told them the truth about the severity of the depression, I would have been stuck there against my will. Crisis averted.
The good news is that I finally have new inhalers, but the daunting side is that I have to use the steroid one twice a day. There are side effects to them, and it prevents me from performing basic daily activities. I haven’t really been able to talk too much, but I need to for work, so I’m practicing various breathing exercises, but it is hard. I still struggle to take deep breaths.
There is so much more going on healthwise, but I’m at a point where I don’t know how to manage it all. I am alone, which usually I wouldn’t be concerned about, but considering I choked while sleeping back home, there are good reasons to be worried. This is solely focusing on asthma alone. Doesn’t this sound exhausting? The toll taken on my mental health is another story.
People with medical conditions are fighting enough as it is. To have to explain to people that don’t understand is a fight we choose not to have after a while. I’ve opted for silence because it is much more peaceful, but more importantly, I’m exhausted fighting with myself and doctors. There are plenty of people I have met throughout this journey of life that have done the same. Enough is enough! There needs to be reform, which is taking forever, but at least as a community, we can be more understanding. There is always more to the story. Please keep that in mind.